When two people come together as a couple, an adult attachment is formed. Both partners hope this bond will provide them with a haven from the world where they are protected and cherished - a place where they can count on feeling safe and accepted just as they are. Infidelity, conflict and unspoken expectations and/or disappointments regarding sex, commitment, trust, children, finances, career, family and a number of other tender topics can threaten this feeling of security and cause couples great distress. This distress gives rise to negative patterns that, left unchecked, can destroy a relationship.
In couple therapy, I help couples to recognize and dismantle these negative patterns. I work with each partner to identify and express their hurts, wants and needs. In the presence of the other partner, each expresses their desire to hold onto a strong independent identity within the relationship while also longing for a deep intimate connection with their partner. My work here is heavily influenced by my advanced training in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), which the American Psychological Association has recognized as an empirically-validated form of couple therapy.
The goal is for both partners to experience the relationship, their partner and their own ability to avoid conflict and increase intimacy in a way that makes them feel safer and more secure than they have ever felt before.